I will not have sleep within my sight.
Enough with that crap that I just did.
Anyhow, I really am in a bad state of mind for a 17 year old american white male.
I have this strange thing that for some reason stupidly optimistic people just piss me off.
I mean, people that are optimistic because of how fucking stupid they are.
I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, but I don't know. I spend most of my time asking myself "What's next?" and getting no answer. I ask my brother, and my teachers, "What should I do?" and because I have no important work that needs doing at the moment, they reply with "Whatever you feel like doing."
This makes me angry because it doesn't answer my question. I might have to say it differently, for example; "What do YOU think I should do?"
I know their answer. "Whatever you think you should do."
Fucking people. I go on the internet, posing as a person when all I am is the shell of what a person should behave like. I am creative if given a template and an idea. Tell me to make you a character with a 1,000-word backstory, I'll do it. You would be able to edit it at your own will.
That doesn't change the fact that I distaste most things at this point.
I play Pathfinder on the weekends, and I play videogames to help people. Those are what you might call my "Hobbies."